Yesterday, Luka had an altercation at school and he was pretty upset about it.
A lot of hurt feelings came of it and he ended up feeling like no one liked him and that he would never have friends.
Now, I know that's not true. But that's how he felt.
I don't know if that's common with Asperger's kids, or if it's just human to feel that way every once and a while. I do know that sometimes, as we get older, it can feel a little harder to connect to others than it once did.
This transition has opened up a really good conversation between us about what it takes to make real friends. Here's some of the biggest takeaways so far from the talks we've had. I share it with you just in case you have a child that's feeling the same way
Friendships (The Lasting Ones) Are A Marathon...Not A Sprint
Sometimes I think we want friendships to be quick. We want that natural connection, that natural rapport, to be automatic. For people to just get us, and like us, straight off the bat. Sometimes that happens...and that's great!. But sometimes, especially when you're somewhere new, it takes time.
It takes time to get to know people. It takes time for them to get to know you...and sometimes it takes time to find people you even connect with! That's o.k. You can't just demand a flower to grow and bloom because you want it to...Why would a friendship be different?
Expect The Occasional Storm
While we're on the subject of nature, friendships are not always gonna be sunshine and roses...and that's also o.k. Don't be afraid of conflict. You have to have rain occasionally to make things grow. You also have to have the occasional clouds so you don't take the sunny skies for granted...and sometimes those rain clouds turn into storms. That's normal.
Sometimes the storms serve to blow things around a bit so you can set things right again...or differently. If you're open to it, and try to understand where the other person is coming from, it can grow your friendships in some amazing ways.
Think of these times as little bumps in the road...even the best friendships have them. Your relationship will always be a work in progress...and it will always be better for it. So don't be afraid. Embrace it.
Now, On To You
Has your child struggled to make friends? What tips have you given them? Please share in the comments below.